Legitimate
by bookdiva
Summary: A series of one-shots. Shoot me ideas in reviews or PM me! Ch 1: Kensi is angry at Deeks for going easier on her in sparing. Why? Ch 2: Find out the reason behind Deeks's hair! Ch 3: The punch! Read and Review!
1. Sparing

_**AN: Yeah, this just hit me, and I wrote it in like ten minutes, so it's a tad rough. I just feel like this needs to be addressed. I guess I'll just put any other ideas that beg to be addressed here… So if you have any, please feel free to tell me, and I'll write them up!**_

**_Blessings, _**

**_bookdiva_**

* * *

"Alright, what did I do now?" Deeks calls, running to catch up with his partner. Kensi was striding out to the parking lot, still in her work out clothes.

The partners/something-mores had been in the middle of a sparing match when Kensi suddenly got up in a huff and stalked away, leaving Deeks stunned behind her.

Kensi whirled around at his question.

"You want to know what this is about?" she yells, pointing her finger at him.

"Uh, yeah…?" he answers hesitantly. "That _is_ the purpose of my question, Fern."

"Ever since we've, we've… we've—you know…" she furrows her eyes and waves her hands around, unsure of how to phrase it.

"The point of this whole conversation, Kens," Deeks said, smirking at her in frustration, "is that I obviously _don't_ know."

This caused Kensi to get angry again.

"Ever since we've been… _whatever_ it is we've been," she says, taking a step toward him, "you've been going easy on me. You don't even try when we spar. You never even leave a mark, but I've seen the kinds of people you can take down. What, you think because we're… you know… that I can't take care of myself anymore?"

"What?!" Deeks's eyes widened in surprise and anger. "No! How can you even—"

"Well, what is it then? Huh? Huh?" Kensi demanded. Deeks opened and shut his mouth, obviously trying not to say something. "Seriously! Just say it! You don't think I can watch your back anymore? What! Just… just say it!"

"I'm not _him_!" The words burst out of his mouth, and both their eyes go wide in surprise.

"Wh-what?" Kensi manages. Deeks looks down at the ground, backing away from her like she's going to hurt him. It breaks her heart a little. "You're not who?" she asks softer.

Deeks sighs, still not looking at her.

"Deeks…" she implores, genuinely frightened by the way her partner looks.

"I'm not my dad, okay? Are you happy now?"

His words hit Kensi harder than any physical blow ever could. She feels so stupid, and she wants to beat herself up at the moment. A million things rush to her mind.

_You're absolutely not your father,_ she wants to tell him. _You're an amazing man, and you've accomplished so many things—things he could never dream of. _

It takes her too long to process, though, and Deeks misinterprets her silence.

"Look, I know you can take care of yourself. And I trust you with my life and with yours. I really do. I know you could take it. It's just…" he trails off, and his eyes glaze over. She can only imagine what he must be seeing. "Every time I start thinking about finding your weak spot, or even striking out at you, I see…" he squeezes his eyes shut.

"You are not your father," Kensi says, coming up and pulling his head onto her shoulder. She hates the way he flinches at the contact, but she pushes it down.

_I probably deserved that,_ she tells herself.

"Listen to me," she says after a long moment, pulling back to look into his eyes. He reluctantly meets her gaze. "I'm sorry. I was being stupid. But," she adds quickly, "so were you. You are nothing like your father. You are kind and strong and you've accomplished more than he could even know. You. Are. Amazing. And I'm sorry I don't tell you that enough."

"No," he mumbles automatically. "It's not your fault—"

"Yes it is," she says, cutting him off. "You have been so patient with me, even when I don't deserve it. So I'll be patient with you. I'm sorry I pushed. I wasn't thinking, and… well, that's no excuse. I'm sorry."

"I-I… It's okay," Deeks says, attempting a smile. But she can see that it's not. At least, not really. She still has a ways to go before she fixes it.

"Look, I may be your girlfriend," she says, smiling as his eyes widen. It felt surprisingly good to her, putting a label on them. "But I'm your partner first. We'll figure this out, okay?"

He smiles a real smile.

"We always do."

_**Thanks for reading! Leave a review or pm me some ideas? **_


	2. Hair Style

_**AN: I was PMing JK073 when this idea hit. I know everyone wants me to address the punch from episode 5x10, and so do I, but that'll take a LOT of time and effort. I think I'll have to wait till at least after Tuesday's episode to start that. I'm feeling really low on inspiration at the moment...**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

Kensi stared down at the slightly discolored photograph in her hand. She could hardly believe what she was seeing. She'd been snooping around in her boyfriend's drawers, trying to find an extra shirt to wear into work. The last thing they needed was to add fuel to Sam and Callen's teasing.

In the photo stood a man who looked almost exactly like Deeks: tall, blue eyes, blonde hair, muscular. Except this man wasn't smiling, his hair was clean cut, and his eyes didn't have the same sparkle that her partner's always seemed to have.

Next to the man stood a boy who looked to be about seven years old. He was hunched away from the older man, but he was still beaming at the camera. Kensi recognized her partner immediately. Based on the resemblance, the man beside him must be his father.

_Gordon John Brandel. _

She startled as the door to the bedroom opened.

"Hey Fern," Deeks greeted her, momentarily oblivious to her reaction. "What're you…" he trailed off as he looked at her and his eyes fell upon the picture in her hands.

"Who is this?" she managed to ask. Her partner's eyes darkened, but he sighed and sat next to her on the bed.

"You have to ask?" he asked, his tone hard and slightly bitter. "The resemblance isn't enough?"

She swallowed hard and shook her head.

"This is your father." It was not a question, but he nodded anyway.

"Yeah," he said softly. "Of a sort."

She nodded, not really understanding, but wanting to take away the bitter memories.

"Y-you don't look exactly alike," she said. It came out more unsure than she wanted.

_You're just so helpful Kensi,_ she berated herself. Her partner choked out a humorless chuckle that seemed to echo her thoughts.

"Yeah, well I…" he said, not looking directly at her. "I, um, I had to uh, leave home after I, uh, shot him."

Kensi just nodded, holding her breath. She couldn't help but think that one wrong move would make her partner close up again.

"My mom was terrified of me. She said… she said I looked just like him, and that I'd…" he looked up at her, unable to continue. She saw the pain, anger, regret, disappointment, and fear in his eyes, and she felt white hot anger well up inside her.

"I guess I keep my hair long to remind me that I can be… different. That maybe I don't have to turn out like him." She could tell—from his voice, his eyes, everything—that he really believed what he was saying.

_How could his own mother cast him aside like that? _she wondered. _How can he be thinking like that? _But she pushed those thoughts aside, and instead focused on her partner.

She reached up, ran her fingers gently through his hair, and pulled his lips down to hers. She poured all her heart into the kiss.

"It's not just the hair that's different, you know," she whispered against his lips, looking into his ocean blue eyes. "_You_ are different. You're good and kind and loving and strong and honorable and selfless and trustworthy and patient. You are everything that he didn't have the strength to be."

He nodded, but he couldn't quite manage a smile. Kensi leaned her forehead against his, suddenly desperate to make him smile.

"But I do have to say," she mumbled, brushing their lips slightly, "that I'm partial to your luscious blonde locks…"

That got a real smile out of him. This time, he closed the minuscule distance between their lips. And as he held her close, safe from the horrors of the world all around them, she couldn't help but be grateful for the wonderful man he had become.


	3. Safe Place

_**AN: And here it is my friends! The punch is finally addressed! Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you thought, and send me another idea. I currently have none in the works. **_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

"I really think it's my turn to pick where we eat, Fern," Deeks said, smirking at his partner, amusement clearly dancing in his eyes.

Kensi sighed and rolled her eyes, looking away from her partner. She found that the only way she was able to stay annoyed at her partner/boyfriend was if she avoided his intoxicating, ocean-blue eyes.

They were currently standing in the middle of the bull pen, where they'd been standing for the last ten minutes arguing the same thing. Sam and Callen were looking on from their desks, simply glad to have Kensi back.

"But I just got back, Deeks," she said. Kensi had arrived back from her classified mission almost 48 hours ago, and it was her first day back at work. "So that should trump anything else. And besides, I always pick where we eat. Therefore, I should get to pick. Things shouldn't change now."

"Oh, _reeeeeaaaaalllllyy_…?" Deeks said, eyebrows raised. "Infallible logic, as always Princess. But I thought you said you _wanted_ things to change."

Her eyes widened at his suggestive tone as he repeated her words from the previous night. She raised her fist to punch his arm—as she'd done a million times before—when something different happened.

His eyes widened as he sensed her intent. He stepped away, tucked his jaw down, and raised his arms in front of his face. Kensi froze mid-swing, startled at her partner's response. For a moment, it was completely silent. No one moved or said anything.

A few moments later, when Deeks seemed to realize that the blow wasn't coming, he lowered his arms and opened his eyes. Kensi was standing in front of him, her melted chocolate eyes swirling with many emotions—confusion, surprise, guilt, annoyance.

"Wha—what…?" Kensi began, but Deeks's humorless laugh cut her off.

"Heh, sorry partner," he said haltingly, taking another step away from her. "Too many years as a punching bag, I guess."

Kensi's eyes widened as his words hit her like a knife to the gut.

_Oh my god,_ she realized, _he's scared of me. I… I hit him. Oh, god, I hit him. _

"How about you, hum, go get us all something to eat, and I'll go, um, do that thing… with the… yeah…" Her partner's voice broke her out of her thoughts. He was all the way across the space from her. When he trailed off, he spun on his heel and walked quickly out of sight.

Kensi watched him go feeling helpless. She hated feeling helpless, but more than that, she hated that she'd made him afraid of her.

"Okay, I'm just gonna ask it," Callen's voice cut into Kensi's fog. "What the hell was _that_?"

"I um… that was, you know…?" Kensi trailed off as she tried to think of a suitable explanation.

"No," Sam said slowly, narrowing his eyes at her, "we don't know. Please, enlighten us."

Kensi was startled at Sam's slightly harsh tone, and she couldn't force any words out from around the lump in her throat.

"He's been through a lot, Kens," Sam said. His tone was still firm, but it was slightly softer than before. "I know you both have. But maybe this time, you need to step up and fix whatever the hell that was." He nodded over to his partner. "C'mon, G," he said. "Let's go get lunch for everyone."

Kensi just nodded mutely, still unable to speak.

"He might be in the armory," Callen said quietly as he walked past her. "He's been spending a lot more time in there since you…" He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't have to. Callen and Sam walked out, leaving Kensi alone with her thoughts.

_I have to fix this,_ Kensi thought, squaring her shoulders determinedly. She walked purposefully towards the armory.

Deeks wasn't sitting outside, cleaning his gun, but there were tell-tale sounds coming from the shooting range. She walked up to the door and peeked through the window. Sure enough, her partner was carefully emptying a magazine at a stationary target. It hit the center mass once. Twice. A third time.

She opened the door and slipped in unnoticed by her ear-protection-deafened partner.

He sent another bullet towards the target, but this one hit the target's shoulder.

"C'mon, man," he muttered to himself, pulling his gun down. "Get yourself together." He raised his gun and fired off confidently. It hit the center mass again, and he pulled his gun down all the way this time.

From her place in the darkened corner, Kensi could see a tense smirk cross her partner's face.

"Moderately strong my ass," he said. He removed the ear protection, and Kensi knew she couldn't stay undetected for long.

"You still have the same gun, I see," she said, stepping out of the shadows. "You alright?"

Deeks whirled around, holding his unloaded gun in one hand and his ear protectors on the other. His eyes were hidden behind the clear glasses, but she could still see his surprise.

"Kens?" he said after a moment, ignoring her question. "What are you doing here? I thought you were getting lunch."

She smiled and took a step toward him. He instinctively took a step back. She felt her smile tighten, but she pressed on anyway.

"Really, Deeks?" she teased, taking another step toward him. This time he held his ground. "Answering my questions with questions? I thought we were past that."

He swallowed and nervously ran his fingers through his hair. She took a deep breath and took the last step, bringing her nose to nose with him. She took his nervous hands in hers and took her other hand to gently run through his soft, golden hair.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked eventually. He looked down at his feet.

"What'll you do if I say not really?" he asked.

She nodded, expecting that.

"Okay then," she said. "I'll talk."

"Really?" he asked, raising his eyes to look at her. His tension was momentarily replaced by surprise and curiosity.

"Well, you've clearly more than held up your end of the bargain," she said, giving him a small smile. "I suppose it's time for me to do the same."

He laughed and looked down. "Alright then," he said, clearly uncomfortable. "Whatcha wanna talk about?"

She shook her head and gritted her teeth.

_He doesn't have to make this easy for you, Kensi_, she told herself sternly. _He _shouldn't_ make it easy on you. You never make it easy on him. Now toughen up and fix it._

"I'm sorry, Deeks," she said. He looked up, and his blue eyes were confused and slightly afraid.

"Look, Kens," he said before she could get another word out. "Whatever you're going to say, it's okay. We'll figure it out. There's absolutely no reason to call this off." Kensi couldn't believe her ears. "Whatever this… is, exactly. I mean, I know I'm not exactly… and you're kind of, ya know, perfect and all… and we're probably, I mean, we are… whatever it is that we are… which is, you know? That? And I—"

Kensi couldn't take it any more. She pulled Deeks's face down to hers, silencing his rambling with her lips. It was reminiscent of the kiss they'd shared on the hill overlooking Siderov's house. Before….

For a moment, he was too surprised to respond. But then he seemed to get over his surprise. He released his grip on her hands and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her hands moved from his hair to the nape of his neck.

Several minutes later, they pulled apart, breathing hard.

"Now," Kensi said, struggling to regain her breath, "you just listen."

He just nodded mutely, so she gathered her courage and continued.

"You told me that I was your safe place," she began. He was clearly confused by her beginning, but he silently nodded. "I didn't do a very good job of being your safe place."

He began to protest, but she held up her hand, cutting him off.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I didn't. I was upset—more with myself than with you, if I'm being honest—and I took it out on you. That wasn't okay."

His eyes bored into hers. She tried to discern what he was thinking, but his expression was unreadable.

"Then I was shipped away, and you became my safe place," she continued. "And you were amazing. You were patient. You answered when I called. And then I got home, and you're still… amazing." She blushed, but forced herself to maintain eye contact.

She was slightly relieved and slightly disappointed when he didn't tease her. He just stayed silent, his ocean-like eyes stormily opaque.

"So I'm sorry, Deeks," she said fiercely. "I'm really and truly sorry, and—if you'll let me—I promise…" she trailed off and ran her hand along his jaw."I _promise_ to do a better job being your safe place."

Finally, a small smile crossed his lips.

"You… you promise?" he asked. She held back her tears at his tone. She'd never get used to vulnerable Deeks.

"I promise, Deeks. I promise."

* * *

**_Thanks for reading! PLEASE SEND NEW IDEAS! _**

**_Blessings,_**

**_bookdiva_**


	4. Gunpowder

_**AN: Well, this is different for me, but it just kinda… happened. Silly inspiration monkeys. Credit for the idea goes to musab shamali, and credit for reading this over goes to—of course—Bamie02! Thanks guys!**_

_**Blessings,**_

_**bookdiva**_

* * *

"You smell like sunshine," he yelled at her retreating form. He heard the door slap shut and he shook his head at another missed opportunity. "And gunpowder. Two of my favorite things."

And then, suddenly, all their missed opportunities—all the times they should've talked about their thing—flashed before him, and he wondered just how many more times they'll have before—regardless of what he just promised her—one or both of them doesn't make it through a mission.

That thought propelled him toward the door, but he's stopped just before he opened it by voices outside.

"…not sure," Kensi's voice is saying. Deeks stopped, confused, and continued to listen.

"What, you think Deeks'll mind?" Sabatino's voice hit Deeks like a ton of bricks, and he held his breath as he waited for his partner's answer. Instead, Sabatino continued. "I thought you guys were just… what was it you said? Oh yeah, _'barely partners'_."

Deeks's heart felt like it dropped to his toes, but he managed to hold out hope for another moment—maybe she'd refute Sabatino—waiting for Kensi to at least say they're friends. Something.

"Yeah," Kensi's voice effectively crushed his last ray of hope. "Yeah, you're right. Let's go... I'll, uh, meet you there, okay?"

"Sounds good," Sabatino said. "I just have to go get my wallet and I'll, uh, meet you there."

Deeks realized Sabatino was headed his way, and he reacted quickly on instinct. In three quick strides, he was an acceptable distance from the door. He stepped over to the sink and moved the only soiled cup under the hastily turned on faucet.

"So Detective by day, dish washer by evening, huh?" Sabatino's teasing voice caused Deeks to stiffen.

"Hetty doesn't like messes," he replied shortly, not turning around. "I drew the short straw tonight, but I'm almost done."

"Sure, sure," Sabatino said. "I was just grabbing my wallet before heading to meet your partner for drinks."

Deeks finally turned away from the sink and met the other man's eyes.

Deeks narrowed his eyes as he remembered Snyder's words from earlier, and he realized what was happening. It didn't matter that what Sabatino was trying to do was working. Deeks fell back onto his years of tuning out negative things and refused to let his discomfort show.

"You got inside her head," he stated. It wasn't a question, but Sabatino nodded anyways. "And now you're trying to get inside mine."

Sabatino chuckled. "Are you sure you're just a Detective?" he asked. "You picked up on that much faster than any of the CIA operatives I've worked, and certainly much faster than Kensi."

"Yeah, well, Kensi doesn't exactly have a great track record when it comes to men. Any men." He paused here, squaring his shoulders in an uncharacteristic display of his height. Sabatino's eyes widened in surprise for a moment before he regained his training. It didn't matter. Deeks had already seen it. "Just keep in mind, tonight, that I'm not _just_ a detective."

* * *

Kensi was determined to meet for drinks and keep things completely platonic—strictly in the interest of building a contact in the CIA—but when she arrived at the bar to meet Agent Sabatino, she didn't even have to try. He was more reserved and guarded than he'd been all day at work, and frankly, Kensi was puzzled and bored. Mostly bored.

She wondered quietly to herself before her direct nature got the best of her.

"Why are you suddenly so quiet?" she wondered, her tone coming out slightly harsher than she'd intended. "I couldn't get you to shut up all day, and now you're giving me the silent treatment. If you wanted to grieve in peace, you shouldn't've asked me for drinks."

Sabatino laughed, but he didn't lean in any closer to her.

"I think you're just too used to babbling all day long. My normal conversation must sound like crickets to you."

Kensi narrowed her eyes at that.

"Watch it," she warned. _No one's allowed to insult Deeks but me. _The thought was unspoken, but Sabatino clearly received the message.

"I think we both know what this is about," he said. "But if you want me to spell it out for you—"

"No, that's fine," Kensi said, shaking her head.

_The last thing I need is another lecture on my… partnership, or whatever with Deeks. _

"That's what I thought."

Kensi narrowed her eyes and made to retort when she noticed something behind her. A mop of familiar blonde hair at the bar, ordering a bottle of something to go. She knew he hadn't seen her, because he wasn't even glancing in their direction. A woman at the bar leaned into him, and Kensi felt her vision cloud with jealousy.

_He's such a flirt,_ she thought before he even responded. But he just glanced at the woman, said something, and sent her on her way. Kensi continued to watch, getting more and more confused, as he accepted the whole bottle of whisky, popped the cap off, and took a long swig.

Seeing this, Kensi immediately knew something was wrong. Deeks had told her that he never drank whisky, because it was the drink his father had favored. For him to resort to that, it must be something serious.

Throwing back one more swallow, Deeks headed to the doors.

"Kensi?" Sabatino's voice snapped Kensi back to their almost nonexistent conversation.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go to the ladies room. I'll be back…" she left the thought hang and followed her partner out the door. She kept her cool until she finally opened the door into the muggy, hot LA night. She glanced both directions, spotting her partner about twenty feet away, walking away dejectedly. The open bottle was still in his hand.

"Deeks!" she called out. Her partner stopped in his tracks, but he didn't turn to her. Instead, his head whipped from side to side, as if he were trying to figure out where the sound was coming from.

She let the door to the bar slam shut and jogged to her partner.

"What are you doing here, Deeks?" she asked when he turned around. "Are you _following_ me?"

"Nah, Kensi, I'm not following you. This is just my favorite bar. Of course," he said, his blue eyes hardening in bitterness, "it isn't _our_ favorite, because that would imply we had something in common, which would imply that we're friends." Her stomach suddenly felt knotted, and she didn't know why. "But apparently we aren't, right?"

"What—what's that supposed to mean?" Kensi asked, genuinely feeling hurt.

_I just asked you not to get yourself killed! _she thought. _Doesn't that mean we're… at least friends?_

"Hell if I know," Deeks said, turning away from her. Then he called back over his shoulder. "We're barely even partners, right?"

Kensi stood there, paralyzed, in front of the bar, and he walked off into the night.

* * *

So a few weeks later, when Granger asked him for info on Walt's club, he didn't think twice about picking up the hostess. After all, they're barely even partners, right?


End file.
